Feb 16, 2018 Pigpen Cipher is a super fun secret code for written messages. It’s a fabulous way to encourage a child who might not like writing, they will be so busy coding an de-coding messages that they won’t even know they are writing! Give it a try with your kids. Make Your Own Secret Codes.
- Seeing these four messages made it clear what the foundation is — safety. I wish I had felt safe, and I know I want my kids to feel it. I resonated with these messages, and they remind me that there is hope and grace to be found as we parent.”.
- Christmas Messages for Kids Smiling, bright, beaming faces with rosy cheeks. The excitement coming from children electrifies the Christmas morning air. They barely sleep through the night knowing that Santa Claus is coming down the chimney (or through the front door).
- The app allows kids to text one another over Wi-Fi or any internet connection. Its ease of use, speed, and free cost make it a teen favorite for messaging. Parents can track iMessages sent or received on their kid’s iPhone through two methods – iCloud and iTunes.
- For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but often lack the skills for communicating assertively. You can help your child express angry feelings effectively by teaching her to use I-Messages. Use I-Messages to Communicate Feelings Effectively.
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I Messages Worksheet & Role-plays
I Messages or I Statements
Communicating for Connection Worksheet I Messages
Morse Code Worksheet
Lesson 5 Decoding Activity (required)
Activity 5 Worksheet Cryptic messages
I Spy Worksheet 1
As important as it is to listen attentively to your children’s feelings, there are times when it is helpful to share with your children how you are feeling. It can be difficult to do this in a way that does not shame or blame them when you are frustrated or upset with them.
Using an “I” Message is a way to express your own needs, expectations, problems, feelings or concerns to your children in a respectful way that does not attack them.
You can use an “I” message when you have strong feelings, especially when your children’s behavior is not acceptable to you. The benefits of “I” Messages include:
helping you to get clearer about your feelings as you communicate them to your children,
modeling healthy ways of dealing with feelings,
providing a way for you to express anger without insulting your children or diminishing their self-esteem,
informing your children of your reaction to their behavior,
giving your children the opportunity to be responsive to your needs by acting differently, thus helping your children to become less ego-centric as they consider the effect of their behavior on other people,
opening the doors to honest communication with your children,
contributing to a healthy relationship, increase in trust and a sense of connection.
Imessage Parental Monitoring
There are three parts to a formal “I” Message. You do not have to use all three parts every time, nor do you have to use them in this order.
Describe the specific behavior: When I see/hear . . .
Describe how you feel: I feel . . .
Describe the tangible and specific effect of the behavior on you.
“When I see you still playing with the your toys when I say our time is up, I get upset because I don’t want to keep your older brother waiting at school.”
“I” Messages can also be used to state your needs, values, and positive feelings such as pride or appreciation.
“I feel so proud of you for offering to help Grandma with her garden. I love seeing what a kind person you are.”
“I am really excited for you to learn how to cook! I expect that we will have a lot of fun being in the kitchen together making meals for the family.”
Keep your words, voice and facial expressions consistent with the intensity of your feelings.
Be clear and specific and only talk about what is happening in the moment, not the past.
Don’t use the words “always” and “never.” For example: “You never do what I tell you to do.”
Do not dump very strong feelings in a way that scares your children.
Remember that if you use “I” Messages too often, it may seem to your children that their feelings don’t matter.
If the feeling you want to express is anger, keep in mind that anger is a secondary emotion; it can be more effective to use words that describe feelings underlying the anger such as frustration or disappointment. Anger often breeds more anger and defensiveness.
“I” messages are often a good first step in getting clear and being clear with your children about how you feel, but they don’t necessarily result in modified behavior. You may need to use some other approaches after the “I” Message in order to encourage the desired behavior.
In the example above,
“When I see you still playing with your toys when I say our time is up, I get upset because I don’t want to keep your older brother waiting at school.”
You can clearly state your expectations or the rule:
“I expect you to leave when I tell you it is time to go.”
You can offer some alternatives:
“You can bring one of the toys with you if you get ready now or you will need to leave without any items. You decide.”
You can describe what you would like done:
“I want you to put on your coat now and walk to the door.”
You can impose a consequence:
“If you do not leave when we need to, then we won’t stop home next time.”
You may need to use active listening after you use an “I-Message” if your child becomes upset:
“I know it can be frustrating to not have as much time to play as you would like.”
For more information about actively listening, check out the following books. Purchasing from Amazon.com through our website supports the work we do to help parents do the best job they can to raise their children.
I Feel Messages For Kids
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